Finding the Perfect Voice for Your Ceremony
The days of getting married in a chapel by the local pastor are becoming less common. What once was a long-standing tradition has now evolved into a wide range of options for couples—religious or non-religious, formal or casual, traditional or personalized. Today, your officiant can be anyone from a clergy member to a professional celebrant, a judge, or even a trusted friend or family member. With so many choices, it’s important to find someone who not only makes your marriage legal but also reflects your love story and sets the tone for your ceremony.
Photo by: @clarkberryphotography
What to Consider When Choosing an Officiant
1. Type of Ceremony
Decide if you want a religious, spiritual, interfaith, or secular ceremony. This will help you narrow down officiants who can honor your preferences.
2. Personality & Delivery Style
Do you want someone warm and lighthearted, traditional and formal, or somewhere in between? Your officiant should align with the atmosphere you envision.
3. Customization Options
Some officiants follow a set script, while others allow you to personalize vows, readings, and rituals. Clarify how flexible they are with tailoring the ceremony.
4. Experience
An experienced officiant will be comfortable speaking in front of large groups, handling nerves, and keeping the ceremony flowing smoothly.
5. Legal Knowledge
Different states have specific marriage license requirements. Ensure your officiant knows the rules and will file your license promptly after the ceremony.
Red Flags to Watch Out For
They don’t ask questions to get to know you as a couple.
They only offer a generic script with no room for personalization.
They have little or no experience officiating weddings.
They can’t clearly explain the legal steps for your marriage license.
Poor communication or delayed responses when you reach out.
They seem uncomfortable with public speaking or nervous on calls/meetings.
Questions to Ask
How many weddings have you officiated?
How many weddings do you do in a year?
Have you worked at my wedding venue before?
Do you meet the legal requirements for an officiant at our wedding destination?
What types of ceremonies do you typically perform?
Do you allow couples to write their own vows?
Can we customize the ceremony script?
Can we review the ceremony script before the wedding?
How do you handle interfaith or blended family traditions?
What is your process for getting to know us before the wedding?
Will you attend and help run the rehearsal?
Do you handle filing the marriage license?
What is your fee, and what does it include?
What time will you arrive at the venue on the wedding day?
How long will the ceremony take?
Final Tip
Your officiant is the voice of your love story on your wedding day. Take the time to meet with a few options, ask thoughtful questions, and choose someone who makes you feel confident, comfortable, and excited about saying “I do.”